Mothers

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I’m not really sure how to begin this post. It is certainly not a poem. My wonderful husband and I have been married for six months now. I am a college student, and he works full time to support us. We don’t have a lot, and much of what we do have has been gifted to us from relatives. The kindness, support, and love from both of our families has allowed me to continue my education, from which I will graduate next fall. 

That being said, it would be irresponsible of my husband and I to start a family when we are not entirely self-sufficient. With that in mind, we’ve been using protection. So I was shocked to find myself pregnant. Shocked, and filled with guilt. How would I care for this child? I didn’t have any clue. 

In the end, it didn’t really end up mattering. I miscarried the child soon after. However, in that short time, I fell in love with the little soul in my care. Sure, I was freaking waaay crazy out. Part of me wishes that I could take back all of the fear and guilt so that I could enjoy the short time of motherhood that was granted to me.

This is sort of a follow up on the poem I had written last night. Mothers, please revel daily in the beauty of your children. When they beg you to play with them, don’t make excuses. Don’t tell them that you’re tired, and just watch a movie with them. Inquire about their day, color with them, play hide and seek, play! Children are a wonderful magic all their own that give you an excuse to do all of the fun things you loved as a child that you haven’t bothered to enjoy in years. 

Please, please, revel in that. Those are the memories they’ll cherish. 

Lovingly,

S

Speak

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Speak to me of great deeds

Of warriors and their creeds

Speak to me of integrity

Honor

Prevailing dignity

Speak to me of great deeds

I long to believe in humanity

When the candle burns dim

Recovery is slim

Speak to me of great deeds. 

All around me is mundane

Words are common 

Profane

I long to walk with the noble

Speak to me of great deeds.

Slowing Down

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Lately I find myself shivering through much of the day, hustling and bustling to class, the post office, the grocery store and so much more. I get caught up in walking as fast as I can so that I can get to the next warm building. However, around me  the breath of the world is slowing down, temperatures are dropping, and the days are filled with a golden glow. 

I tell myself to slow down, and notice. The changing of the seasons is so precious. Take time to notice the way the wind sings, I admonish myself gently. Take time to watch the golden light play with the colors of the leaves. 

So today I allowed myself to linger over the crunching leaves. I unbound my hair and let it whip in the wind to its own rhythm. This afternoon, I reached out my hand to feel the silky pulses of the mums in their resplendent colors. I allowed myself to swept away in the breath and spirit of autumn. 

Letting in the Light

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This morning I opened the window to bid the light to enter. He warmly welcomed my spirit and flooded through my heart. “You’ve been closed off for far too long. Your heart is sick and pale. I will warm you in your blood, and open you to all that’s good.”  I felt his kisses strengthen me, and I accepted his gift. 

I have been hiding in the darkness of my farmhouse, not wanting to admire the beauty of this fall. My cogs have been crammed with self pity, and it has been slowing my spirit. This morning I have finally renewed my yoga practice. Which is something I have been shirking since September. I feel whole, renewed, and refocused.  I have let the light in to favor it over the darkness I was wallowing in.

I realize that my poetry has been tinted with self pity, and that I have poisoned your spirits with my own pain.  I ask you to take my hand, and to walk through the autumn woods with me. Together let us put down our burdens to let in the light. 

My affirmation for today: “I am light, I create light, I let in the light and conquer my own darkness.”

This fall is rich with the colors of passion. The trees are aflame beckoning you to rekindle your own lust for life.  Let the comforts of a crisp fall surround your heart.  This is the time for new beginnings, and to embrace the coming seasons with hope and joy. 

Love 

Sarah