See me

Standard

I’m trying to expose my soul.

Your words cover me up.

You try to analyze what I cannot define.

You put me in a box. 

I feel my wings are clipped-

They atrophy and rot

I’m trying to let you see my song,

But you chatter over top.

It’s hard for me to speak your language.

This logic refutes my world.

No communication available,

I turn, and wander off.  

I long for comprehension to race across your heart,

to fill this loneliness that tears me apart. 

Find Me

Standard

Find me on a hill top as the wind rolls over,

blowing leaves to cover my heavy heart.

Laying in the graveyard as the veil is lifted

Singing, quietly, the tune of a distant memory.

My soul is filled with longing  to go ‘cross the river-

and make the journey between the worlds.

I’m watching as my sand falls, filling up the glass.

I’m eager for the final page to end my story.

With eyes closed, I refuse to play the part.

I eagerly let go as the final grain is sifted.

I long to be free from earthly sorrows.

No longer can I bear up against their

Hatred

Infidelity

Violence

I feel no joy in the morrow!

Find me on the hill top…

Free.

Severed from physics, and rules.

Unbound.

My Lurking Smile

Standard

Hold your head up child.

It’s not so bad.

When the clouds are dark

When you walk alone

When you hug yourself to keep yourself inside

When the pain rolls in like a hurricane tide

Hold your head up. 

When there’s nowhere to run

Nothing to be done

Living no longer fun

Hold your head up.

I keep my smile in my back pocket.

When I want to weep, and cry!

When I curse and beg…

I pull it out

Sometimes there’s cat fur on it, and pocket lint

Sometimes it’s frayed and creased

Sometimes it’s too tight, and pinches a bit

but I put it on anyway.

Give me a little soul

Standard

The soul is a bubble blown through a wand

It is reflective of beauty shone without and within
Manipulated by tides, distorted by teachings
 
Fragile as a dream
An endless pond of reverie
Distorted by time and abandoned by truth
 
The soul is a joke told by an idiot
It senses neither time nor space
But feels infinitely the pang of a broken heart or distorted trust
 
Cracked as my mirror
An open wound
Patched clumsily together with a bandaid
 
The soul is a dance performed without flaw
Pirouetting, effortlessly defying gravity
It is its own delight
 
Weightless as a sigh
Timid as a blush
Gracing the world with its own recital
 
The soul is a prisoner
Its wings clipped by reality
Forced to acknowledge the fact that is without life
 
Caged as a songbird
A flightless ghost
Denied by its own imaginings

Swan Song

Standard

The swan sings her most beautiful song just before she takes her last breath. Embracing the end with dignity and grace, clarity and passion- the swan sings. Singing of life remembered, and the dream of life to come, the swan fills her weakening lungs, stretches wide her once powerful wings and sings.

She knows her spirit is strong, old, and wise. She does not fear the unknown or regret the known. She raises her heart to the light of the moon. Floating effortlessly between land, sea, and sky…floating between worlds…in and out of consciousness… in and out of days and nights…the swan sings her own requiem as elegantly fate descends.

Wand’ring

Standard

Image

 

Infinitely I yearn for the nightly wandrings

Round a desolate street of my sleeping city

Bathed in the sickly glow of flickering streetlights

Lightly treading,

searching,

something.

Kiss the hand to the moon

no magic found in a sunlit noon.

Floating through the night like a vague spectre 

Beholding the life of the underground.

Rippling cloth and rustling gait:

This Cinderella flees a sinister ball.

Sleeping Beauty

Standard

Image  Gravity pulls me down

In reality, I can’t keep my feet on the ground.

The days start to blur

I sigh out the window

You know I’m sure.

I’ve taken leave of reality

Patience, I lack the ability

But I’d wait a thousand years

Lost in slumber

Without any fears

Wake me

With your gentle kiss

I’ve been sleeping all this time

My life is bliss.

Though the past may have it’s thorns

The angels blow their horns

Heaven awaits

You’re just beyond it’s gates

And I’ll be waiting

Right here.

Fate

Standard

 An expanse of darkness

A pinpoint in the distance

Closing the space

Gentle caresses

Two bodies there were found

Across time and space

By one soul bound

Trial and error

Never was fate fairer

 In whose eyes

Hope was mirrored

Patient sighs

The Road

Standard

 In the rain, cotton dresses grow heavy

In the lane the trees are rife with dance

The wanderer goes wandering in a trance.

The patient one trips lightly along

Discussing Neitzche with the oak who is wise

Down in the clearing the rain softly sighs

The colors are swimming

The silence is dimming

The one who was lost

Slowly rises

The wanderer

Onto pointed toes

A spinning she goes

Spinning she goes

Round and round and round

3…

2…

1…

The wanderer looks down

With laughter at Earth’s frown

Reaching the sun’s crown

She pauses to drown

His light takes her slowly

Tells her all that is holy

As she falls into his effervescent might

Misunderstanding

Standard

Image

I think I had an ill conceived idea about what happily ever after meant. I firmly believed that if I found and married my one true love that it would be impossible for sadness to ever find me. I believed that I would never know sorrow again. I didn’t know that I was so foolish until I got married, and I found myself puzzled.

“What’s wrong?” I asked myself, “why am I unhappy?” I realized (even though everyone told me thusly) that happily ever after isn’t the whole story. Life doesn’t go forth happily from “I do”. Life goes on, nothing more. The same ups and downs, the same disappointments, and the same heart break continue. The only difference between ever after, and happily ever after, is having someone to share the after with.

Depending on my true love to generate my happiness is unfair, and dooms him to failure. No one is strong enough to carry the depth of their own emotions, and the weight of someone else. It simply isn’t possible. I used to think of myself as strong and independent. Lately, however, I have been wilting. I need to pick myself up and realize that true love is a partnership…and stop letting my other half carry my dead weight.

Just a bit of personal reflection and musing

~Sarah